


Too Late To Save Him

by kallie_larry_forever



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), Shadowhunters (TV) RPF, Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Character Death, Depressed Magnus Bane, M/M, Malec, Suicidal Alec, Suicidal Magnus, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-12-08 10:56:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11645139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kallie_larry_forever/pseuds/kallie_larry_forever
Summary: Alec has been really depressed and he can't cope anymore. He tries to take his life. Will he succeed or will Magnus find his husband in time?





	Too Late To Save Him

_Goodbye my friend, goodbye my love, you're in my heart_

_It was preordained that we should part,_

_and be united by and by, united by and by._

_Goodbye no handshake to endure._

_Now there's nothing._

_-It Was Written In Blood (Bring Me The Horizon)_

  
Magnus POV

Alexander has been acting weird the last few weeks. Lately, he has been distant. He hasn't been the happy and cheerful Shadowhunter I know and love. He also hasn't been eating as much. I am really worried about him. Every time I've tried to ask him about, he either says his fine, changed the subject or tries to distract me with his gorgeous body.

I woke up to find an empty bed. He wasn't laying there next to me asleep like he normally is. He always likes to sleep in and is a pain to get up in the morning. I was really worried.  
"ALEXANDER!?" I yelled running through the house. I was really scared  
I hoped he wasn't doing what I thought he is doing.  
I ran to the bathroom to find the door was locked   
"Alexander?"  
There was no answer.  
"Alec baby, please open to door. I'm worried about you." I pleaded banging on the door. No answer.  
I ran into our room and grabbed my keys, before unlocking the bathroom door.  
Alexander was laying on the floor, in just his boxers, with cuts up both his arms and blood everywhere.   
I was now in tears. I sat down on the floor and pulled his limp body into my arms. He was still breathing. Only just. I grabbed Alexander's phone off the bench near the sink and called 911.  
I rode in the back of the ambulance with him and called Jace, Clary, and Isabelle on the way to the hospital.  
When they took Alexander into the room, I fell to the ground in tears. I didn't want to leave his side. I was so scared I was going to lose him.

After about an hour, the doctor came and spoke to us.  
"I'm so sorry Mr Bane we did everything we could. As well as the cuts, there was also a large amount of painkillers in his system. The large blood loss and the large amount of pills were too much for his body to handle. Your husband is dead. "  
I broke down to the floor in tears. The love of my life is dead.   
"NO!? HE CAN'T BE DEAD." I screamed.  
Clary pulled me into her arms. "I'm so sorry Magnus."   
Isabelle was a wreck as well. She had just lost her big brother

The funeral was the following week. Isabelle wanted me to make a speech. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done.  
"Alexander was my whole world. He was the love of my life. He was the reason I got up in the morning, he was the reason I went to bed. He was the first thing I thought about in the morning and the last at night. He was my reason for existence. I remember when we first met, I was instantly attracted to him. In over four hundred years, I had never met anyone like him. I think I loved him before I realised it myself. About a month ago we were talking about adopting a little girl and starting a family. Now it's all too late. I just want him back. I knew something was wrong with him. I knew he wasn't right. Every time I'd ask him about it, he would say he was fine or changed the subject. I didn't push it. I knew Alexander.  He was very stubborn and would've told me when he was ready. This is all my fault. If I just pushed him on it, he might still be here. I would still have my beautiful husband." I was now a wreck. Jace and Clary had to help me back to my seat. Isabelle was in tears next to me. Neither of us was dealing with his death well.

Two weeks. That's how long I lasted without him. About a week after the funeral, I was going through my husband's phone. I was looking at all the crazy and retarded selfies we had taken together when I accidentally went into notes. It was there I found a letter addressed to me. It was the suicide note. Alexander knew I would go through his phone. He knew I'd find it eventually.

_Dear Magnus,  
I love you so much. I'm sorry I didn't tell you what was happening. I loved you too much to worry you because you always worried about me too much. You were my whole world, Magnus. You were the only reason I stayed strong for so long. You literally kept me alive. I didn't want to leave you. I cared about you too much to cause you that much heartache, but I gave in. I gave into the hate and into my depression. I need you to stay strong for me. I want you to live the life we planned without me. I want you to adopt and raise a little girl as our own for both of us. I want you to watch her grow into a beautiful woman we could both be proud of. I want you to stay strong and join me only when your time comes. Please don't be a coward and give into the temptation like I did. Live your life for both of us. Magnus Bane, I know you can do it. You are so much stronger than I was._

_-Alec_

I read and re-read the letter over and over again. My poor baby. He is so wrong. I can't do what he wants me to do. I am not as strong as he thinks I am. I can't live without him.   
It took about a week after reading Oli's letter before I finally gave in.  
I went into the bathroom, broke one of my razors and grabbed the blade. I sat down on the floor with my back against the bath tube and started cutting. I made a long deep cut from just below my elbow down to my wrist. I did the same on my other arm. I think started to make deep cuts on my thighs, before passing out unconscious. It only took about three minutes for my heart to give out. I could now spend eternity with Alexander like I wanted


End file.
